D. Herbert

Monday, September 12, 2005

Dawn of the Dead Remake

What a let down. It can't hold a candle to the original.

Sure, it's got better effects (everything does these days, except for "DragonWhatever" starring Dean Cain showing on the SciFi channel). And it's got more "action."

It's also got lots of cliches, half of it is entirely, ploddingly predictable, and the other half is absurdly illogical. It's entirely missing the themes that made the originals (Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead) so great. It's completely hollow and worthless and utterly commercialized, which is ironic because the original was a critique of commercialism. There is actually a scene in which a actor takes a sip of brand-name water. That is so not Dawn of the Dead! It's a horrible parody from Bizarro World!

And it has a scene in which a SPAS-12 semi-automatic shotgun is pumped. Every stupid action movie has to have a SPAS-12 being pumped. Even though it's semi-automatic and the pump function is only there in case it misfeeds or so police can use lower-powered riot loads. You don't use riot loads (bean bags and rubber bullets) against zombies!

And enough gratuitous slaps at private gun-owners. Get a clue, Hollywood. If a zombie invasion/uprising took place, private ownership of firearms would be our best hope.

Did I mention the stupid cliches? It's lame. Avoid it and rent the original. Fast-moving zombies are lame. If you see fast-moving zombies, run.

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